River run…..
The ambers
murmur words unknown but yet comforting as my gaze caresses the tranquil waters
of the lake. little did I know that, a few months back, all that was familiar
was cast out, torn, raped and battered by those who do not See, while I was still
lying on the cold ground, my heart pierced by a thorn which will never heal …’you
do not stop grieving, you just get used to the pain’ she said, and this pain
has become my best companion, my most faithful ally.
The waters of
the lake look tranquil but under the deceivingly serene mirror, flows the dark
watery rage, eager to rupture the banks and drown my spirit and strangle my soul.
The same dam which threaten to break at each momentous encounter or whiffs of
what used to be …
A soul of gold
erupted this dam in the early hours of this morn and the salted waters of my
longing have erupted and drenched my face, my spirit still in awe, inflamed by the
intimate sharing of wondrous words gifted ….
Many would
retreat from such deep and dangerous waters and find healing in the floating distractions
of this world.
Carelessly… I
plunged in their inviting darkness, diving deep within ….and re- membered ….
….I remembered an isolated beach,
surrounded by my brothers and sisters, as the fires of Azrael raged between
Land Sea and Sky, the Hymn to Her flowing through my body, heart and soul. My
eyes could only See You my love, the deep vast blue of the sea engulfed in your
eyes, you were yourself that night and I saw you as you truly were, Pure and
Glorious. ..Yours I was forever …
….I remembered coming back to the
same beach only a month ago, three years later, could it have been any another place?
I was surrounded by all who had love within their heart, all gathered up to acknowledge your life and Walk with you a final time. As the river
flows back to the sea, So does our soul flows back to her arms, As we are
gathered home again by Her, the great
void, the great Primordial bitter sea… Mother of the deep, Dancer of life and death.
A long tedious walk it has been my love, my sweet, before you reached
eagerly her salty embrace.
3 deaths you had to undertake.
First the gateway of earth, your physical death, as I kissed your last breath,
our bodies entangled in one last embrace, the intimacy between us reaching its pinnacle
in that ultimate gift...
The gateway of fire, the purification, when the flames licked your soft
wondrous flesh to reveal your glorious Self …
The gateway of air, when the ashes of your bones were release to the
winds and your Spirit soared high above the landscape of stones …
And now we gathered at the gateway of water, the great Ma, to wave your
soul back home ….
The circle of
our earthy love was closed that night, River Walker, my sweet lord and lover,
as the sweet waters from the rivers meandering through the forest of our love,
gathered up with care by my own hands in a black alabaster jar, found their way
back to the salted water of Death and Life ….a million jellyfish had stranded
with loving sacrifice on that beach that night, a million eyes eager to witness
your glorious arrival …and departure. we join our tears to our laughers , all
mingled in the waves, walking deep in the tides to escort you to the most
divine river of stars above , lighting up the way to your ascent …
Unto her
Higher
The great river
Higher
The great arc
Higher
The stars above
Higher
Past the rider and the pole
Higher
..To Her
…River
run
Return
to the waters you were born of
River
walker
Lord
of the fresh waters
My
lover my husband
My
dear heart
A
way a lone a last a loved along the….*
*Inspired and some words taken from, Finnegans Wake, Book IV, James Joyce.
Video :River run, a play by Olwen Fouéré, shown at the Galway Arts festival, July 2013.
