Two years today

Two years today ....two years today I saw your spirit rise and merge with the All in the sinking sun ...my lover, husband, friend, my desire, soul mate and teacher, there has not been a day without a thought for you, a caress felt from the other side, a murmur gently spoken in between the silence. My life has changed dramatically, new love has blessed me with more than I could have ever hoped ...when I thought I would never love again, that day when I held you close...the day you cross that Gate in your full glory.
Despite the horror of the moment, I still feel blessed to have been here for you, with you in your final surrender. You have shown me in that single infinite moment, a glimpse between time, beyond time and Death. That even though I am bound to life in all her tragedy, that beyond that grief and loss, Life is Beauty and that with the eyes to see, all is infinite and beautiful beyond imagination when we stop, listen and look. This gift, this awe is the only Key to come closer to the other, to you my beloved, until my last breath when our spirits will be One once more. All my love to you dear husband, you will never be forgotten and many glasses of mead and stories will be shared for you by those who have known and loved you. 

All in Giefu Simon,
In Life,
In Fate

Isabelle  

Image : Tristan  Isolde by Jean Delville  1887

River Run

River run…..

The ambers murmur words unknown but yet comforting as my gaze caresses the tranquil waters of the lake. little did I know that, a few months back, all that was familiar was cast out, torn, raped and battered by those who do not See, while I was still lying on the cold ground, my heart pierced by a thorn which will never heal …’you do not stop grieving, you just get used to the pain’ she said, and this pain has become my best companion, my most faithful ally.

The waters of the lake look tranquil but under the deceivingly serene mirror, flows the dark watery rage, eager to rupture the banks and drown my spirit and strangle my soul. The same dam which threaten to break at each momentous encounter or whiffs of what used to be …

A soul of gold erupted this dam in the early hours of this morn and the salted waters of my longing have erupted and drenched my face, my spirit still in awe, inflamed by the intimate sharing of wondrous words gifted ….

Many would retreat from such deep and dangerous waters and find healing in the floating distractions of this world.

Carelessly… I plunged in their inviting darkness, diving deep within ….and re- membered ….

….I remembered an isolated beach, surrounded by my brothers and sisters, as the fires of Azrael raged between Land Sea and Sky, the Hymn to Her flowing through my body, heart and soul. My eyes could only See You my love, the deep vast blue of the sea engulfed in your eyes, you were yourself that night and I saw you as you truly were, Pure and Glorious. ..Yours I was forever …

….I remembered coming back to the same beach only a month ago, three years later, could it have been any another place? I was surrounded by all who had love within their heart, all gathered up to acknowledge your life and Walk with you a final time. As the river flows back to the sea, So does our soul flows back to her arms, As we are gathered home again by Her, the great void, the great Primordial bitter sea… Mother of the deep, Dancer of life and death.

A long tedious walk it has been my love, my sweet, before you reached eagerly her salty embrace.

3 deaths you had to undertake.

First the gateway of earth, your physical death, as I kissed your last breath, our bodies entangled in one last embrace, the intimacy between us reaching its pinnacle in that ultimate gift...

The gateway of fire, the purification, when the flames licked your soft wondrous flesh to reveal your glorious Self …

The gateway of air, when the ashes of your bones were release to the winds and your Spirit soared high above the landscape of stones …

And now we gathered at the gateway of water, the great Ma, to wave your soul back home ….

The circle of our earthy love was closed that night, River Walker, my sweet lord and lover, as the sweet waters from the rivers meandering through the forest of our love, gathered up with care by my own hands in a black alabaster jar, found their way back to the salted water of Death and Life ….a million jellyfish had stranded with loving sacrifice on that beach that night, a million eyes eager to witness your glorious arrival …and departure. we join our tears to our laughers , all mingled in the waves, walking deep in the tides to escort you to the most divine river of stars above , lighting up the way to your ascent …

Unto her

Higher

The great river

Higher

The great arc

Higher

The stars above

Higher

Past the rider and the pole

Higher

..To Her

…River run

Return to the waters you were born of

River walker

Lord of the fresh waters

My lover my husband

My dear heart

A way a lone a last a loved along the….*

*Inspired and some words taken from, Finnegans Wake, Book IV, James Joyce.

Video :River run, a play by Olwen Fouéré, shown at the Galway Arts festival, July 2013.

I am you and you are me

                                                                       La petite Mort 

A few years back ,many would have contested my initiations, arguing that it was too soon and that my initiator should have waited a few more years before performing the necessary rites. Reflecting back, I do agree, having to go through these initiations/ elevations did affect me profoundly, however I also do know that these were done when it was necessary to be done, in Time and there was no other way. 

In fate we were though the weaving of our lives .

When we met, Simon and I, we knew straight away that a lot of work needed to be done, and that we did not have much time on this physical plane to do so, in order for our love to unveil, blossom and bloom, but also for our magical work .The various places we needed to go on a magical level, together and individually were equally if not a more important part of our relationship. We could not have done it alone; we needed to join magically… 

As one and one does make three. 

The creation which we gained through our magical alliance, the hieros gamos, the yab-yum  of our Life and Death allowed us to cross threshold, together .these were not only a mere celebration or awareness of the influence of the moon, earth, Sun and stars , coven work with all of its necessary discipline and responsibility  , but a preparation for the transmigration of our souls and the Work which was necessary to be dealt with on this plane of existence . The great work which we did undertake together has allowed us to move through, deeper within the mysteries and his physical death has not stopped this relationship . 

I am now, more than ever, working with spirit, guided by this light which is my lover’s soul, surrounded by those who have gone before. 

We are both standing at the threshold, I, in Life, him, in Death, 

both dancing together, intermingled, 

There is no separation and the work shall continue. 

Your death, my love,

The sacrifice of your life

Is a gift,

From you to me.

You are the bridge, the path

The right of ingress

Back to Her.

I am you

Your are me

There is no separation.

fff, Isabelle

 Eros and thanatos

Illustrations , copyright @Isabelle Gaborit 2013

Did I ever stand a chance?

In this chaotic world, where nothing has meaning, did I ever stand a chance to be able to rest my head on the soft pillow of the brotherly love?

while the fires are rowing in the background, I stand naked, cold ,lying on the ground, my bones merging with the land, will I ever feel the warmth of this hearth?

Did I ever stand a chance, Mother, to escape from your grip, to suffer your cold hands grasping my throat and prevent me to breath?

Did you ever intend to release me from this coil which contour my bare bones ?

I’m restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again.”
Anaïs Nin

Stella maris

The soul of man
is like the water:
It comes from heaven,
it returns to heaven,
and down again
to earth must go,
ever changing.

Soul of man,
how like to the water!
Fate of man,
how like to the wind!

Song of the spirits over the waters

Goethe

In this quickening time, dreams speak loudly, and the winds whispers Truth that can only be heard when the time has come. Resolutions have been made, actions need to be taken and many efforts have been made to follow the stream of my Wyrd, only to realise afterwards that they have been taken for me: All along.

Slowly  and unwearyingly She utters in my dreams, telling me a tale of forgiveness, love and Blood, a dream when whispered softly to the ears of my lover in the early hours of the morn, revealed itself  to be woven around the threads of my Life…or was it the other way around …the story of a mother’s love, and the story of a daughter, daughter of the sea lying in the arms of death  …a third woman, the link, the connection made the 2 worlds meet again, and forgive ….a true tale of Truth and Beauty .

The sea called me again this week and I did heed her call. As due. A distant wisp of salty air carried across the land was brought to this part of Ireland, where I have been living for the last 9 months, sheltered between the mountains, the forest and the Lake. This very brief wisp of salty air took me by surprise as I was sitting daydreaming by the open windows listening to the chatter of the wakening birds. It slowly unfolded in his lingering waves Mem-orises of time past.

Having been born and raised by the sea, I have constantly hungered to see, feel, touch, smell  and taste her deep waters …my  purest bliss would be to swim, bathe, play and love in her velvety waves. The terrible Mother tried to claim me once as a child, only to be rescued by my loving father, jumping in to prevent her waters swallowing me in the darkening abyss, claiming me…’There are other ways my love, my terror, my beauty, my rage. ..I have been yours from the beginning , and will be till the end of Time …your salty gems have glistened on my skin and shone in my soul, I have heard your call so many times, the rage of your waters has soothed my pains and stilled my mind in the shadiest  of times . ..Star of the sea, I am your daughter, your priestess, yours forever as memories unfold’... That wisp of salty air insinuating her ways though the open windows stirred up from the heavy depths Times forgotten …’remember where you are coming from little sister’….I remember a dark night, a dark heart and her even darker waves, inviting me to soothe the pains of Love gripping my broken heart. One jump and it would be over... I died that night, only to be reborn, fresh to the world. I remember an isolated beach, surrounded by my brothers and sister, as the fires of Azrael raged between Land Sea and Sky, the Hymn to her flowing through my body, heart and soul. My eyes could only See You my love, the deep vast blue of the sea engulfed in your eyes, you were yourself that night and I saw you as you truly were, Pure and Glorious. ..Yours I was forever ….

Quickly I closed the window, pick up my camera and jumped in the car. She knew the way, I could only trust. I collected my young daughter along the way; we aimed for the sea with songs in our hearts. How easy it was to reveal to her pure innocent eyes beauties hidden in plain sight, as she did reciprocate to my astonishment, as we traced together circles in the sand and gathered treasures of stones and shells. I will not force her to dance to my own tune and she will find her own tempo, her own Groove, which she shall blend to the beautiful music of Life, but in the meantime, I shall make my duty to inspire Awe and awareness of what is truly beautiful IN Life, and the Sea is a good place to start …

Les Saint Marie de la Mer
You will dance the ring
Marys of the Sea
The lost bride weeps
Les Saint Marie de la Mer
We will dance your ring

Hey there's a new Jerusalem
Hey you built on rock that's on sand
For now you have hijacked the son
Last time I checked he came to light the lamp for everyone

I hear a voice and it says
"The red of the red rose is its own
And something no man can divide"
So St. Jermaine hear the prayer of this supplicant
For two scarlet women, Black Madonna

Tori Amos - Marys of the sea.